How would Akhtar's resume look like ? What would he say about himself to a prospective employer or a school ?
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Shoaib Akhtar
114 (Opp to Hakim?s house), Dope Bazaar, Rawal Pindi, Pakistan
cell-1: 499-443767 (for Indian sponsors only)
cell-2: 499-567412 (Bollywood babes, please call me!)
tel: 6784321 (for Hakim: If you are unable to reach me, leave the packet at my door)
e-mail:
showape@gmail.com (PCB bashtards just email me)
Objective
* I want to ball the fashtest ball and exshite people.
* I alsho want to be a legaan.d
* For a shange I wanna ban shomebody
Academics
Education
M. C La?hore University, Math Arrears pending
B. C. Pindi Unversity, Physhix Arrears pending.
Test scores
Chukcing test: Phailed first attempt. Passhed by 1 degree in second attempt.
Dope test: Failed Furst time, but Passhed tesht next time.
IQ: Not applicable
Awards and Honors
* Fashtest baller
* Highesht number of bans
o Banned for smoking in elementary school
o Banned for copying exam in high school
o Banned for balling by ICC (thanks Dalmiya for reverting ban)
o Banned for not balling (what can I do, I wash injured!) by PCB
o Banned for tumpering ball by ICC chootiya$
o Banned for dope abushe from ICC CT
o Latest ban for whooping Ashif
* Spheshal award from Shewag for being the kindest baller.
* For ninth conshecutive year, voted by PCB as ?outshtanding? playar.
Greatest Strengths
* Can ball fasht
* Great interpershonal skillsh. (ashk: Ashif, Inshi, Woolmer & PCB)
* Down to earth (when bowling to Shewagh)
* Greatast Match whinnah
* High kwality kriket brain. (Coached Sami)
Work Experience (Total: 9 yearsh)
* My recaard spheak for itshelf.
References
1)Shami
2)Inshi
3)Ashif
Resume of the PHASSTTTTT bowler: Shoiab Akhtar
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